I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
