What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
