You smell like stripper and shame
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
