I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize