Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
