I want you more than these girls want KFC
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She's the barista slut.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize