idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
