There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
