Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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