True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize