Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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