I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
