you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
