Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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