somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
