This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
