She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
