i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
