my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
