I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
