i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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