whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize