$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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