Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
