More tranny stories later!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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