There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
