is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
not ubering you a puppy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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