you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
