If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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