I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
