Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
