Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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