This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
