Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
