I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
