FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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