Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
