but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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