He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
its liver damage thursday
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
