I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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