Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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