he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You pole danced in your parka.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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