3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
