She's JV to your varsity
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
