halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
