I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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