Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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