Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
