When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
