The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
