You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
