Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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