Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
