i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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