You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize