why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
