marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
