its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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